The F Word

Whoa!! No! Not that one!

f_word_1007

What is the word that could ruin your chances of a better life quicker than any other? Ok you might want say the one above but it’s not the worst. If you watched the video I posted you will know that the word is…

“Fine”

Don’t believe me? Try it next time someone asks you about your day/life/partner etc. How did it make you feel when you said it? I’m pretty sure it didn’t make you feel alive and excited about your life. What happened to your body? You probably found your shoulders sagging or you started looking down, or if the person is in front of you, anywhere but at the person who you are taking to.

I think there are only 2 reasons why you would answer this way.

1. There is something wrong in that area of your life that needs addressing/changing or

2. You feel uncomfortable about telling the person asking the question.

Solutions

'He's starting to ask what sushi is.'
‘He’s starting to ask what sushi is.’

The second reason is the easiest to solve.

You may not like the person enough, if they are a negative force in your life (they don’t support you, just want things from you or even just use you to make them feel better about themselves) Get rid of them! They will only drag you down, you need people in your life on YOUR side, find people you CAN open up to. That way you won’t be scared of what they say if you say things are bad or if things are fantastic and you just want to talk for ages, they will let you.

GREAT!

If, like in the picture, you may not feel that you are ready to share yet. This reminds me of “A Few Good Men” in that famous conversation.

“You want an answer?”

“I want the truth!”

“YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!”

So, can they handle the truth? Do you feel they are too immature? or that you haven’t known them long enough yet? The only answer to this is to give a vague answer first and, IF they ask for more details, tell them more or say that you think they won’t like the answer. Give them a choice, and give yourself a chance to become more comforatble in the situation. For example in the picture, the child is asking what sushi is. You could just say “it’s a type of food.” They may be happy with that. Then if pressed say “it’s made from animals, horseradish and rice and is found in Japanese restaurants.” Beyond that would be a judgement call.

OK. Now the other reason.

There is something in your life that needs changing.

If you are still reading this blog, this probably means you. If you are unhappy about work and someone asks how your day was when you get home or how’s the job going? You just want to either deflect the answer by turning it back on the other person or changing the subject, or try to end the conversation by saying the dreaded F word

“Fine”

The good news is that if you are reading this you have already identified the problem and you are looking for answers.

CONGRATULATIONS!

If you are talking to one of the people on YOUR side there is a good chance they will know there is a problem and ask you about it. I can’t stress this enough. You NEED to talk about it!!! I know because I made the biggest mistake and kept it all to myself. For years. I was miserable, stressed, angry, and then depressed but wore my happy face in public. You know. This one.

fake smile

Over the years I started to develop physical problems.  The tension lead to throat, back and leg pain that needed a physio therapist and a chiropractors help and also lead to IBS and worse.  It was only when I decided that I had a problem that an opportunity to help myself arose and I took it.  I was offered stress councilling at work.  I talked openly to the therapist and after a few session felt amazing about it.  It would have been the easiest thing in the world to say the usual.  “No thanks, I’m fine”  I didn’t want to admit that there was something so badly wrong that I needed help. But I did it.

Step-Out-of-Your-Comfort-Zone-Inspirational-Quotes13

Now it’s your turn.

Homework.

Try the solutions above.  If you don’t like some of the people you talk to, stop talking to them.  If you feel yourself about to say “Fine” STOP. Say what the situation is really like, say it could be better, bad, awful, worst day/job/boss/company/etc ever, good, great, amazing! Just say it and talk about it.  You will feel so much better and able to move on to the next step in you journey to your best life.

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